Tobi and the Mix Up
by Haruko Kurimasu
Summary: Pein has assigned chores to all of the Akatsuki members. The lair is a MESS! Tobi is given the task of picking up the dry cleaning for the leader, but how will he mess THIS up! A humorous one-shot with cameo appearances from KH2!


One day, in the Bat Ca-- I mean, the Akatsuki Lair, drastic measures were taking place!

Pein was handing out pink slips of paper to each of the confused members of their organization, each with a seven-day schedule printed on in fancy italics. Hidan, being the idiot that he is, had already torn his to shreads, and was eating the tiny pieces with evil delight.

"Heh heh heh...." Hidan cackled through mid-chomp.

Pein rolled his eyes. Tobi was waving his in the air like a spoiled little boy on Christmas day. Kisame was snickering, saying, "It won't cut, it will SHAVE!" Konan, already bored, was making a paper crane with her schedule. Deidara blew his up already! Zetsu was trying to read his from the floor, for he had a lack of arms. Kakuzu was disappointed that it wasn't ryo dollars. And Itachi...

...Had inflicted his poor schedule with Amateratsu flames, and a small fire was on the floor. "It won't go out at least seven days." Itachi informed our luckless leader, who shook his head in embarassment. Well, Itachi was talking to Pein, but because his depleting eyesight, was facing Hidan, who hissed at the black flames of doom.

"ENOUGH!" shouted Pein, gaining the attention of his group. Finally.

Everyone stared at the leader, who, by the look of his temple, was about to burst a vein. That would be bad.

"What's up, Leader?" Tobi asked.

Pein coughed into his fist. "This is serious, morons! Are you BLIND to the muck around us?!" He gestured his hand at the piles of smelly laundry, piling garbage, dead bodies (no thanks to Hidan), and Pop Tart boxes that encircled the group's lair.

"I am," said Itachi simply.

Pein rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah. Go see an optomotrist, already!"

"But I can't find my way there. It's all due to my terrible--"

"--Eyesight! Holy toad summon! Deidara, bring this blind guy to the eye doctor!"

"Hmm?" Deidara said. He wasn't listening before.

"Eye doctor."

"What about an eye doctor?"

"HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

Pein rushed up to Deidara and smacked him across his face. "STUPID BLOND!!!"

"HAVE AT YOU, LEADER! HMM!!" Deidara raised his fists in the air, ready to start a fistfight, then yelped, for his hand-mouths had chomped on his fingers. He uncurled his fists, and tears poured down his face at the sight of his red, throbbing fingers.

"Ouch, hmm! _Sniff!_"

Tobi jumped, and glomped his sempai in mid-air. "TOBI WILL KISS THEM BETTER!"

Deidara punched Tobi in the face, which set him flying through the air, and crash into Zetsu, who toppled over like a bowling pin. "WHAT'S YOUR DAMAGE, HMM?!?!"

Pein sighed. Would they EVER get around to today's topic?

* * *

"Now, as you all know, our lair looks like crap!" Pein informed the rest of the Akatsuki, thirty seconds later. "As you can see from what remains of your schedules, you all have a special duty when it comes to cleaning up this place. Certain days for each chore, ya dig? Good. And no skipping out, or you won't recieve your share on Frenchtoast Wednesdays."

"(BEEP!)" Hidan swore. He'd gotten 'cleaning the bathroom' duty for Tuesdays and Fridays.

Itachi was straining his eyes by squinting to see what his duty was. "Warping dog demons?" he read, utterly confused. "You mean, you want me to attack Inuyasha cosplayers?"

Pein groaned. "No, stupid, that reads, 'Washing dishes'. W-A-S-H-I-N-G D-I-S-H-E-S."

"Oh my, it's so hard to read what you've spoken, Leader."

"GRRR!"

Tobi became giddy at what he got. "YAY! Dry cleaning! Sounds like quite the adventure for Tobi!"

"WHAT THE HELL?! HMM?!" Deidara shouted, spotting his name next to 'clean up Hidan's sacrifical corpses' duty. "This is the worst, Leader! Why me?!"

As everyone else yet to begin their chores, Pein pulled Deidara aside. "Are you mad that Tobi's got the easiest one?"

Deidara nodded vigorously. "HMM!"

Pein shifted his eyes to Tobi, who was prancing around like Voldemort in the _Goblet of Fire _movie. "Well, we all know that Tobi is... err... a bit, _different. _Hell, the kid stabs himself with toothpaste, for J-Man's sake! That job is the only pain-free, idiot-proof one that I could scrape up without him hurting himself."

Deidara smirked. "Yeah, he's pretty stupid, hmm."

Pein grinned. "I'm glad you understand, Deidara. Oh, shoot!" Pein grumbled, hearing the sound of dishes breaking in the other room. "What is Itachi DOING? Well, gotta go." he said, trotting off to the kitchen.

* * *

And so, Deidara went to grab a shovel and a wheel barrel. He found it out back, and wheeled it inside. When he returned to the living room (the latest place for Hidan to do his Jashin idiot worship) he found the self-mutilating punk sitting on the sofa, shuffling through a pile of DVDs.

Deidara groaned. "Hidan, what are you doing, hmm?!"

Hidan turned his head, and grinned. "I'm going to watch _Resident Evil: Degeneration_. Ya wanna (BEEPING!) watch it (BEEPING!) too?"

"What happened to cleaning the toilet?"

"It's not (BEEPING!) Tuesday OR (BEEPING!) Friday!"

"Shouldn't you clean it anyway? I mean, it's pretty disgusting, hmm--"

"(BEEP!) NO!!!!"

After Deidara had left the room, he could hear Hidan cackling at the top of his lungs whenever the zombies bit or attacked someone. Then, whenever a zombie got shot, you hear the Jashin-worshipper scream, "YOU KILLED MY BRETHREN, YOU (BEEPING!) BAS--!!!"

* * *

Tobi hopped around in a merry way down the path that led to the dry cleaners. He was going to pick it up, and oh did he feel proud to be helping out Leader-san! Once Tobi arrived, he rang the bell until it almost self-combusted. A grumpy old woman handed him a large, unlabelled cardboard box, which contained all of the Akatsuki cloaks. As Tobi lifted the box, it blocked his one-eyed view, and as he made his way to the door, he collided into the most unlikely people.

* * *

"So, Xemnas ordered some new cloaks?" Demyx asked nervously.

"Dude, that's why we're here!" said Xigbar.

"Oh.....OK."

The reason Demyx was in such a twitchy state was that because he'd gotten into a rather..._slippery _situation with Saix. Whilst Demyx had been practicing his water clone technique in the World That Never Was, Saix had happened to come by and slip upon the soaken floor. He received a terrible bruise in the middle of his forehead. Saix had discreetly blackmailed Demyz that he'd breathed a single word of the incident to the other members, or worse, Xemnas, Saix would put an end to his pitiful non-existance. Afterwords, Saix had assigned the timid Nobody with boring and repetitive tasks, in order to reinforce his threat. And here they are now.

Demyx grabbed the box of dry cleaning, and ran to the exit. He happen to run into a happy-go-lucky kid, who too had a box. In a comical fashion, the two colliders fell to the floor, and their boxes into the air. In two seconds, the boxes went _thunk! _against the floor.

"Ouch..." whimpered Demyx, rubbing his head.

Tobi stood up, waving his arms in the air. "OH NO! Tobi is so, so sorry! Tobi is a good boy!"

Xigbar laughed at this. He went over, and grabbed a box. "DUDE!" he shouted randomly.

Demyx picked himself up. "I-It's OK, er, Tobi. Here's your box." he added, supplying the Akatsuki clown with the other box that remained on the ground. Tobi jumped for joy, hugged Demyx, and raced out of the dry cleaner's. "HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

"LEADER!! LEADER!!"

Pein turned his head to stare at the hyperventilating Tobi, holding his cardboard prize of glory. "What, Tobi?"

"THE DRY CLEANING! TOBI DID IT!"

And so Tobi thrusted the box into his annoyed leader's hands, and bounced off the walls and pelted through the exit.

Pein groaned. "What a weirdo. Well, at least he completed his du....ty....."

Pein stood shocked. Flabberghasted. But not entirely surprised.

"What the hell is this?" he puzzled, pulling out a long, thin cloak with a hoodie on it. Organization XIII's cloaks.

Tobi was a good boy, but one who also screwed up like one.

"Idiot-proof, eh?" The leader sighed. He slowly dropped the cloak back into the box.

Maybe this chore schedule wasn't the greatest idea after all...

**THE END.**


End file.
